On my way to the office today I was thinking. I will stress that. I WAS THINKING. The mental work-out was going perfectly fine. And I don’t doubt about that. Though I wouldn’t be that sure about my general well-being. It is said in the dictionary that well-being is “the state of being happy, healthy, or prosperous”. But that is not the medical dictionary which actually hosts the term. I failed to find the explanation in the web. My condition is serious.

But still not as serious as the one the young university-cafeteria- sails-lady has. I mean I have nothing against these ladies, or the one I saw recently in the metro train in particular. Moreover I’d say I envy them, envy them for the feeling of belonging. I suppose I should explain this idea.

These are not just some human beings. These are Soviet Union citizens on verge of extinction. They are the survivos of the collapse, the last of the Sovicans, the shadows of the epoch. They are unique.

I was going somewhere in the train and that was when I saw her. She was sleeping calmly with her eyes closed and I could examine the rare species. The fleece has not yet reached the size of the grown-up female. The beehive was still small, set with aerosol hairspray or might be even with sugar and honey. I failed to come closer and smell it out of fear to wake her up. The coloration has not yet developed and was still not that bright and gaudy. All the signs of a young species were present. Yesterday I happened to run into the grown-up university-cafeteria-sales-lady. Gosh, I did take some fright!!
Why do I envy them? Because they are one! So much of a one that there is no point in doing anything else but growing the beehive up the bulb.

Moi, par contre! I have to think! And right now, passing the «оазис сосисок и сарделек», the hot-dog boutique deep down the underground metro passage, I hate that more than anything else in the world. I hate thinking!

I MUST explain a bunch of Ph.Ds that I do want with all my heart and nostrils to be with them. And how on Earth do I get there?

“Hey, guys I want ya, see my pics over there”, - no, that won’t do.

“I do voodoo, yoga and aeronautics. Will you take me in? I’m good, smart and bright. I’m superstar, hell yeah!” - no way!

“I will eat your heart!” - nay! Threat won’t work, no way!

I want to join in because…. Because… and that’s where I’m stuck. I’m utterly bewildered. I love talking about myself. That’s my pet subject after all. But …
I have just been caught doing absolutely inexplicable thing at work. What are your doing there? Nothing, and this nothing has nothing to do with work nor with anything at all!

Gosh, I think it is spring! Swede weathermen announced the three signs of spring observed in nature. So it should be all about spring. Thus I feel myself complete psycho, verging on schizo!